I just had a really long and fruitful conversation about relationships with my friend. We talked about highschool, meeting friends, loniness, and much much more. This article will basically go over what we talked about and what we learned about during the call.

So to start this off I want to say that I’m not a very sociable person (or at least I wouldn’t categorize myself as one (however this might be contradictory later on)). The reason that I think that is because honestly I don’t got many friends. Now this possibly could be due to my past. When I was in Elementary School I was very similar to how I am today. I would basically just go to school and kinda just focus on that while doing some small extra stuff on the side. I really was just really friends with (I won’t name them here so I’m giving them fake names) Chris and Alex and would play with them every reccess. Initially we just played soccer back and forth between eachother, however at some point they started to play tetherball. All the “cool” kids would do this. I felt reluctant to do this (this is actually tbh kinda similar to me today) and as such tried to get them to play with me. However I eventually gave inand started to play tetherball. I realized that I loved it. In the beginning I was really bad and had to learn everything. However as time went on I actually got really good. I wasn’t the tallest at the time, but I could jump pretty high and had a good hit. I would play after school all the time and it was really nice. I continued to then play all the time, however by the end of 5th grade no one really played any more and there was no one left to beat. By the beginning of 6th grade I was basically the same, but Chris and Alex started to move. I felt scared because they were moving to a table to a group of people who I thought were rude and mean: I won’t name them here, but I’ll call the main guy Zach. Anyways eventually since I really like Chris and Alex I decided to move with them. This happened around the middle to end of 6th grade. Initially everyone really liked me and was kind. However Zach started to realize that they could just make fun of me. So they did, everyone at the table. I know am starting to understand that this was the beginning of bullying. Anyways we would go day-to-day kinda just following whatever Zach said. Don’t get me wrong it actually was fun, however even though I didn’t realize it at the time this was a terrible idea.

First of all I would like to start out this article with a sorry. I haven’t written anything since the beginning of this article. Quite frankly I haven’t done much since then. Previously I had been working on some pretty cool projects such as vmplib and some projects relating to vexide. Now, later on I will likely have some articles and discourse surronding these topics, but that’s for another day.

Honestly I really needed this. Often times I rant on and on to my friends and others online about my thoughts. Othertimes I will litterally open up OBS and record myself, maybe talking, maybe working, etc. This honestly in my opinion is really good. It is a really good way to keep you on task and to express yourself in a meaningful way. Oftentimes when you are with your friend you can’t seem to get any work done (at least in my experience). Honest and good work (deep work) is done by yourself, alone. This is counterintuitive since you would think working in a group is much better. This is also true obviously as if there are two people working at the same rate they do double the work. However when you are in a call or together with friends it is hard to overcome the want to socialize. While this is great as you can decompress from work it is counterproductive. That’s why github is so good. People can work on different things at different times with branches. Eh, it looks like I’m ranting again, this was ment to be the first post. Whatever, I like it, but I will begin to consolidate my thoughts into a collection of different posts. That is a partial goal of this website, to just express what I’m thinking as I feel like I can’t meaningfully do anything without thinking it out. It’s like showing your work in math, you can’t do any math without actually showing your work. Similarly you can’t really use ideas if you don’t say or conceptualize the ideas first. This idea can also be expanded for things other than ideas of projects for example to work on, but for philosophies, etc.